Why Self-Compassion Is the Missing Piece in Your Overeating Struggles

You know that moment...

You’ve had a long day. You were “good” all week. Maybe you skipped the bread, drank more water, even squeezed in a walk. Then, out of nowhere, you find yourself halfway through a bag of chips or standing in the kitchen with a spoon in the ice cream.

And just like that, the guilt rushes in.

“What’s wrong with me?”
“Why can’t I just stick to it?”
“I always mess this up.”

If that sounds familiar, please know this: you are not alone. And you are definitely not broken.

That moment of “losing control” around food isn’t proof that you failed. It’s a clue. A message from your body. A sign that something deeper is going on.

Rethinking What "Failure" Really Means

Most of the women I work with are doers. Caretakers. The glue in everyone’s lives. And yet when it comes to food, they’re often the hardest on themselves.

One snack they didn’t plan for. One meal that wasn’t “perfect.” And they feel like they’ve undone everything.

But what if that so-called failure isn’t a problem to fix?
What if it’s feedback?

That moment of overeating is your body’s way of saying, "Hey, I need something." Maybe you’re worn out. Maybe you’re overwhelmed. Maybe your inner perfectionist is driving you too hard.

Whatever the reason, it’s not about willpower. And punishing yourself won’t help.

Self-Compassion: The Secret Ingredient to Real Change

A lot of women worry that if they’re too gentle with themselves, they’ll lose control or never make progress. But true self-compassion isn’t about excuses. It’s about accountability with kindness.

It sounds like this:

• “That was a tough moment.”

• “Let me get curious about what led up to it.”

• “Here’s what I might try next time.”

Imagine your closest friend called you in tears saying, “I totally messed up and ate way too much last night.” Would you scold her? Or would you listen and offer her some grace?

You deserve to offer that same kindness to yourself.

A Simple Way to Practice Self-Compassion

💭 Step 1: Get curious, not critical
Ask yourself, what was happening before you ate? What were you feeling? What did you actually need?

💭 Step 2: Be kind to yourself
If you wouldn't say it to a friend or your child, don't say it to yourself. Think of what you'd say to someone you care about, then turn those words inward.

💭 Step 3: Take the lesson and move forward
Instead of spiraling into guilt, ask: What can I learn from this? Maybe you skipped meals, ignored your stress, or just needed comfort. That’s okay. You can learn and adjust without the shame.

You’re Not Failing. You’re Learning.

If you've been caught in the loop of restriction, overeating, and guilt, I want you to know this: discipline isn't the answer. Compassion is.

You don’t need to be perfect to make progress.
You just need to be honest and kind with yourself.

Because when you stop treating overeating like a personal flaw, and start treating it like information, you finally open the door to lasting change.

You are not weak. You are human. And you are worthy of care, especially from yourself.

With love,

Your Health Coach, Silke 💖

P.S. Don’t forget to share this with a friend who might find this helpful! 💌

If you enjoyed this article, you will love my 5 Small Changes to Stop Overeating - for women who are tired of overeating, bingeing and finally want peace with food:

Book your FREE 30-minute Clarity Call to uncover what’s driving your binge or overeating, and discover small steps you can take to overcome it.