Why It Gets Harder Before It Gets Easier When You Stop Overeating

“Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.”

– Arnold Bennett

You’ve decided to stop overeating.
You’re ready.
You’re serious.
You’ve promised yourself, “This time, I mean it.”

But instead of feeling better, things actually feel harder.

You suddenly have more cravings, not less.
You think about food more often.
And those late-night urges? They’ve dialed up instead of fading away.

If this sounds familiar, I want you to know you're not broken and you're not failing.
You're experiencing something very few people talk about. It's the discomfort that naturally comes with change.

Why It Feels So Hard to Stop Overeating at First

For many women, overeating isn’t just about hunger.
It’s about coping.

After a full day of caretaking, decision-making, managing stress, and suppressing your own needs, food becomes more than fuel.
It becomes comfort. It becomes your moment of peace.
It becomes your reward for holding everything together.

Especially at night, when the house is finally quiet and no one needs anything from you, overeating can feel like the only thing that gives you a sense of relief.
There are no expectations. No judgment. Just a few minutes to finally let go.

When you try to change that pattern, your brain resists.
Hard.

Food didn’t just fill your stomach. It helped fill emotional gaps too.

So when you remove food without addressing the underlying needs, like rest, comfort, connection, or stress relief, your whole system reacts.

This reaction is not a sign of weakness. It’s actually a sign that your nervous system is trying to protect you using the only tools it knows.

Your Emotions Are Like Waves

Many women have spent years pushing their feelings down.
You were taught to be calm, capable, and composed.
Maybe you were never shown how to feel your feelings, only how to manage them quietly.

So when you stop using food to numb or distract, those buried emotions start to rise.

They can feel huge, overwhelming, and all-consuming.

But emotions are like waves.
They rise, they peak, and then they fall.

You don’t have to silence them.
You don’t have to act on them.
You just need to ride them through to the other side.

It takes practice. It takes patience. And it takes a lot of self-compassion.
But every time you feel instead of feed the emotion, you’re building a new kind of strength.

You’re telling yourself, “I can handle this. I don’t need to hide.”

Discomfort Doesn’t Mean You’re Failing

One of the biggest misconceptions about change is that it should feel easy if it’s right.
But that’s rarely true.

Discomfort is often a sign that change is happening.

Your brain loves routines, even the ones that hurt you.
It wants to stay in the familiar, because familiar feels safe—even if it’s painful.

So when you start interrupting old patterns, like emotional eating, your brain sounds the alarm.

You might feel more cravings, stronger urges, or bigger emotions.
Not because you’re failing, but because your mind and body are adjusting.

This is what rewiring looks like.

At first, it’s like swimming upstream.
With time and practice, it becomes the new normal.

What You Might Really Be Craving

Let’s be honest. It’s rarely just about the snacks.

You might be craving rest.
You might be craving comfort.
You might be craving a moment where no one is asking anything from you.

That evening moment, when you find yourself in the kitchen, reaching for something sweet or salty, is often your body’s way of saying, “Please care for me.”

And if you’ve been “good” all day—eating clean, working hard, showing up for everyone else—overeating may feel like the only time you allow yourself to truly relax.

So when you try to stop, it’s not just about resisting food.
It’s about learning how to meet your real needs in kinder, more lasting ways.

Discipline won’t fix this.
Compassion and curiosity will.

What Helps When You’re In the Messy Middle

If you're in that awkward in-between place, not bingeing every night but still struggling, it can feel lonely.

Here’s what I want you to remember:

1. You’re not doing it wrong.
   Discomfort is part of the process. It's a sign of healing, not failure.

2. You can ride the waves.
   When an urge hits, pause. Ask yourself, “What am I really needing right now?” Maybe it’s rest, maybe it’s connection, or maybe it’s permission to feel something uncomfortable.

3. You don’t need to be perfect.
   Progress is not linear. There will be hard days. That doesn’t mean you’re back at square one.

4. You deserve real comfort.
   Food isn’t bad, but if it’s the only form of comfort you allow yourself, it might be time to explore other ways to care for your heart and body.

5. You are brave.
   Making this kind of change takes courage. And every time you choose presence over autopilot, you're creating a more peaceful future.

Stopping overeating is not just about food.
It’s about meeting your deeper needs.
It’s about creating space to feel, rest, and reconnect with yourself in a more loving way.

Yes, it will be uncomfortable at first.
Yes, there will be moments when it feels like too much.
But each wave you ride, each craving you pause through, builds your resilience.

You are not broken.
You are becoming more whole.

You’re not stuck.
You’re shifting.

You don’t have to be perfect.
You just have to keep going.

With love,

Your Health Coach, Silke 💖

P.S. Don’t forget to share this with a friend who might find this helpful! 💌

If you enjoyed this article, you will love my 5 Small Changes to Stop Overeating - for women who are tired of overeating, bingeing and finally want peace with food:

Book your FREE 30-minute Clarity Call to uncover what’s driving your binge or overeating, and discover small steps you can take to overcome it.