When Overeating Started Way Before Food Was Even the Issue

Have you ever asked yourself why you overeat, especially when you're not physically hungry?

For so many women I work with, the urge to overeat isn’t really about the food.
It goes deeper.
Much deeper.

In fact, sometimes it started years before food ever became the “problem.”

The Childhood Roots of Overeating

As a coach, I’ve noticed a pattern.
While every story is unique, there’s one common thread in many of the women I support:

Their struggles with food are rooted in childhood.

Maybe you heard things like:

• “Eat everything on your plate.”

• “You don’t get dinner as punishment.”

• “You don’t really need that second helping.”

• “You’re gaining weight, you need to be careful.”

• Or maybe you watched your mum desperately trying to lose weight, constantly restricting herself, always stressed around food.

Even if no one meant to hurt you, those messages stuck.
Why?
Because when we're little, our caregivers are our whole world. They feed us, protect us, love us—so we trust what they say, even when it goes against our natural instincts.

We learn that food comes with rules. That our body needs fixing. That we must earn nourishment or shrink to be acceptable.

A Quote That Still Gives Me Chills

There’s a quote I read once that I’ve never forgotten:

“A child who is being abused doesn’t stop loving their parents. They stop loving themselves.”
- Shahida Arabi, Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare

Abuse doesn’t always look extreme. It can be emotional. Subtle. Unintended.
And yes, I believe most parents deeply want the best for their children.

But sometimes, that "best" is delivered in a way that doesn’t feel safe or loving to the child.
Often, it’s because the parent never got what they needed growing up.
And so the cycle continues.

This isn’t about blame.
It’s about awareness.

Because so many of the beliefs we carry as adults, about food, our worth, our bodies, they were never ours to begin with.
They were passed down. Inherited. Imprinted.

You Can Start Questioning the Beliefs You Inherited

Here’s the beautiful truth:
You don’t have to keep living by beliefs that don’t serve you.

You can start to ask:

• “Is this belief helping me… or hurting me?”

• “Is this even my belief, or someone else’s?”

• “What would I believe if I was being kind to myself right now?”

That’s where healing begins.

Not with willpower. Not with another diet.
But with reconnecting to you.

When You Return to Yourself, the Urge to Overeat Softens

When you treat yourself with more gentleness—when you finally start listening to what you need, not what your mum, your coach, or the magazine told you—you create a different kind of safety inside.

And when you feel safe, truly safe in your body and your mind?
The need to overeat begins to fade.

This is your path back to yourself.
And it starts with simply noticing.

No shame. No blame.
Just awareness.

And that’s already such a beautiful place to be.

With love,

Your Health Coach, Silke 💖

P.S. Don’t forget to share this with a friend who might find this helpful! 💌

If you enjoyed this article, you will love my 5 Small Changes to Stop Overeating - for women who are tired of overeating, bingeing and finally want peace with food:

Book your FREE 30-minute Clarity Call to uncover what’s driving your binge or overeating, and discover small steps you can take to overcome it.