One of my clients made herself a healthy lunch. She asked her partner, “Do you want some too?” He was with friends and wanted to sound cool. He said, “No thanks. I need to watch my weight.” That hurt. She took a breath, ate her lunch, and later he made a cheese roll.

Have you heard things like this?

• “Do you really need seconds?”

• “Are you sure you should eat that?”

• “I thought you were being good.”

• “You would be so pretty if you lost a little.”

• “Is that on your diet?”

• “Wow, I could never eat like that.”

Most people do not mean to be cruel. Still, the words can sting. They can push you toward two hard paths. One path is to restrict and try to be perfect. The other path is to say “forget it” and overeat. You deserve a kinder path.

Why this hurts, especially if you overeat

• You have tried many diets. A comment can feel like a bad grade.

• You are already hard on yourself. The comment turns that inner voice up.

• Food helps when you feel tired, stressed, or lonely. The comment makes those feelings bigger.

• Being watched at the table feels scary. You may eat less now and more later in secret.

• All or nothing thinking shows up. One cookie or one comment can feel like “I blew it.”

• You want peace. You may eat to please others or eat to rebel. Both are normal human reactions.

You are not weak. Your brain is trying to keep you safe. We can teach it new skills.

The CARE+ Plan

This is your pocket plan for hard moments. You do not need to do it perfectly. Small steps work.

C - Calm for 20 seconds

• Breathe 4 4 8. In for 4. Hold for 4. Out for 8.

• Let your shoulders drop. Unclench your jaw. Feel your feet on the floor.

• Whisper to yourself. “I am safe. I can choose.”

A calmer body helps you think clearly.

A - Ask and Name

• Name the sting. “That was hurtful.”

• Name your need. Respect, space, or support.

• Pick one tiny step to meet that need. Take a sip of water. Change the subject. Step outside for one minute.

R - Respond or not

Use one gentle line. Keep it simple.

• “I am all set, thanks. Let’s skip weight talk today.”

If words feel too hard, it is okay to say nothing in the moment. You can change the subject. You can come back to it later when you feel calm.

Short and kind boundaries lower pressure. Less pressure often means fewer urges to overeat later.

E - Eat enough

Please do not try to “make up for it” by skipping food. Aim for three meals and one or two snacks each day. Try to include P F F in each meal. That means protein, fiber, and fat. These help you feel full and steady.

Easy ideas:

• Eggs with veggies and avocado

• Greek yogurt with berries and nuts

• Chicken, rice, and salad with olive oil

Regular eating teaches your body and brain that food is safe. This lowers binge urges.

+ - Repair and Protect

Later, when you both feel calm and private, try this.

• “When you said __, I felt __. I am working on a calmer relationship with food. Next time, please skip comments about bodies or weight.”

You can also set a house rule. “At meals we do not talk about weight or diets.”

If a comment leads to overeating

You are not broken. Your brain reached for comfort. Here is how to move forward with care.

1. Name it with kindness.
“That comment hurt, and I ate for comfort.”

2. Try a one minute S O S.

• Stop. Put the food down.

• Breath deeply. Do one 4 4 8 breath.

• Swap. Change rooms or step outside for 60 seconds. Then choose. Eat with intention, or wait 10 minutes.

3. Re anchor with your next meal or snack on time.
No skipping. No punishment. Getting back to steady meals is what cools the urge.

4. Find the real need.
Write one line. “What did I need right there? Respect, comfort, or rest?” Give yourself a tiny dose of that. Text a kind friend. Take five quiet minutes. Enjoy a warm shower.

5. Celebrate a tiny win.
Did you pause for one breath? Did you stop mid bite? That counts. Small wins teach your brain that you can choose a new path.

What not to do after a hurtful comment

• Do not punish your body. Skipping meals or banning foods makes cravings stronger. Keep eating regular meals and snacks.

• Do not chase perfection. “I blew it so I may as well start Monday” is a trap. Messy, small pivots help you more.

For women who hold it all together

You carry a lot. Work, home, family, all the things. All day you are “good” and push your needs aside. At night you are tired and want relief. Eating can feel like the only break you get. This is not about willpower. It is about needs that did not get met. Try small breaks in the day. Keep steady meals. Use kind boundaries. These steps lower the pull to overeat at night.

For many of us, this started when we were kids. Maybe you were the helper or the “good girl.” Your needs felt too big. Food became a quiet, safe way to feel better. Knowing this is not about blame. It is about understanding. When you understand, you can try new tools that fit your life now.

Two minute worksheet: your Comment Shield

Open your notes app and fill this in.

1. My go to line
Write it down so you can find it fast. Example:
“I am all set, thanks. Let’s skip weight talk today.”

2. My quick reset
Pick one. Ten slow breaths. Two to five minutes of light movement. A glass of water and fresh air.

3. My meal plan for today
Write three meals and one or two snacks if needed. Try to include protein, fiber, and fat.

4. My support person
Who can I text. “That comment stung. Can I vent for two minutes?”

You can do this

Hurtful comments happen, even from good people. But they do not have to push you into the restrict and binge cycle. When you Calm, Ask and Name, Respond or stay quiet, Eat enough, and Repair, you turn a trigger into a chance to practice care. Over time, these steps add up. You get fewer spirals. Your meals feel steady. Your self talk gets kinder. Your body feels like a safer place to live.

Remember these truths.

• Their words show their beliefs, not your worth.

• You do not need to earn food by being perfect. Regular, balanced eating is care.

• Stopping mid spiral is a win. Every tiny pause teaches your brain, “I can choose.”

If this helped you, write me back and share one comment you heard that really hurt. If you want, tell me which CARE+ step you will try this week. You are not alone. I am in your corner. 💙

With love,

Your Health Coach, Silke 💖

P.S. Don’t forget to share this with a friend who might find this helpful! 💌

If you enjoyed this article, you will love my 5 Small Changes to Stop Overeating - for women who are tired of overeating, bingeing and finally want peace with food:

Book your FREE 30-minute Clarity Call to uncover what’s driving your binge or overeating, and discover small steps you can take to overcome it.