Just Because She Is Skinny, Doesn't Mean She's Not Struggling With Food

We live in a culture that makes a very dangerous assumption: if you fit into a smaller clothing size, you must be doing everything "right."

We tend to look at a thin woman and assume she has incredible willpower, perfect health, and absolutely zero struggles with food. But as a certified food freedom coach, and as someone who lived it, I know firsthand how completely false that is.

Just because she is skinny, doesn't mean she has it all figured out with food.

My Story of the Hidden Struggle

From my childhood all the way through my 20s, I was trapped in an exhausting cycle of binge eating. And well into my 30s, emotional eating completely ran my life.

But if you looked at me, you would have never guessed.

I was never in a larger body. My weight was always considered "normal," bouncing up and down the same 5 to 10 kg (10 to 20 lbs) over and over again. To the outside world, my friends, and my family, I looked healthy and entirely in control.

Behind closed doors, I was completely out of control.

The Secret Reality for "Normal Weight" Women

In my coaching practice today, I see this exact same scenario constantly. Many of the incredible women I work with also have a "normal" weight. Their secret reality looks exactly like mine did, characterized by an invisible, daily rollercoaster:

• The Daytime Restriction: It looks like undereating, consciously restricting, and "being so good" all day long.

• The Nighttime Loss of Control: Evening hits, the willpower inevitably snaps, and they completely lose control, eating past the point of physical comfort.

• The Heavy Guilt: They go to bed feeling physically horrible, carrying a heavy, isolating blanket of shame.

• The Vow to Change: They wake up, promise to "do better today," and the painful cycle repeats itself.

The Loneliness of an Invisible Eating Disorder

The hardest part about struggling with food in a smaller body is the profound disconnect between how you feel and how the world treats you.

You might even be receiving compliments on your body or your "discipline" from people who have no idea how much mental torment you are going through to maintain it. Because your struggle is completely invisible, it can feel incredibly lonely. You might even convince yourself that your problem isn't "bad enough" to ask for help.

Your Pain is Valid

If you are reading this and nodding along, please listen to me: your pain is valid, regardless of your clothing size.

Binge eating, emotional eating, and a toxic relationship with food do not have a specific "look." You do not have to hit a certain weight or look a certain way to deserve help, healing, and true food freedom. You deserve to live a life without secret shame, and freedom is possible for you, too.

Do you want to finally feel free around food? 

I help women rebuild a peaceful, guilt-free relationship with eating, without restriction, shame, or overwhelm.

Follow me 👉 @silke.holguin_health.coach for simple, sustainable tips that actually work.

Your Health Coach & Food Freedom Coach, Silke 💖

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If you enjoyed this article, you will love my 5 Small Changes to Stop Overeating - for women who are tired of overeating, bingeing and finally want peace with food:

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