5 Life-Changing Skills I Had to Learn to Stop Overeating

For years, I thought I was broken.

I’d wake up every morning full of hope: “Today will be different.”
But by nightfall, I’d find myself in the pantry again, overeating, binging, and swimming in guilt.

I didn’t understand why I kept doing this. I thought it meant something was wrong with me.
But here’s what I know now: I wasn’t broken. I was just missing the tools.

No one had taught me how to care for myself in the ways I truly needed.

Food was never the problem.
It was the only solution I had for stress, emptiness, pressure, and exhaustion.

Here are the 5 things I never learned, but desperately needed, to finally break free from overeating:

1. How to Regulate My Nervous System

When big emotions hit, like stress, anger, anxiety, or overwhelm, I didn’t know how to cope.
No one taught me how to slow my breathing, ground my body, or release tension safely.

So food became my instant nervous system reset.
The chewing, the crunch, the fullness, it calmed me fast.

What helps:
✨ Butterfly hugs
✨ Box breathing
✨ 5-minute grounding walks
✨ Lying down with a hand on my chest

Learning to calm your body before turning to food is a powerful shift—and it's a skill you can practice, not a personality trait you're born with.

2. How to Eat Regularly Without Guilt

I thought skipping meals made me “good.”

I thought being hungry meant I was being healthy.

But here’s what I learned:
Every time I restricted, I was setting myself up to binge.
Not because I lacked willpower, because my body was starving.

Hunger is not a moral failure. It’s a biological signal.
And when you ignore it, your body will fight back.

What helps:
🍽 Eating balanced meals every 3–4 hours
🥑 Including carbs, protein, and fat
🧡 Reminding yourself: Nourishment is not negotiable

3. How to Feel Seen and Meet My Own Needs

As a child, I learned to prioritize other people’s needs.
I was the “good girl,” the helper, the one who didn’t ask for much.

But when your needs aren’t met, emotionally, physically, relationally, those needs don’t disappear.
They come back louder, often as urges to binge.

Food became how I comforted myself, how I said “I matter,” how I filled the space where care should have been.

What helps:
💬 Journaling your emotions
🤝 Reaching out to safe people
🧘‍♀️ Asking daily: “What do I need right now?”

Meeting your needs is not selfish. It’s self-responsibility.

4. How to Rest Without Shame

I grew up believing rest was laziness.

That if I wasn’t being productive, I wasn’t being good enough.

So I kept going… and going… until I crashed.
And food became my only permission slip to stop.

Late-night snacking was the only time I gave myself a break.

What helps:
🌙 Giving yourself 10–20 minutes of rest before you're running on fumes
📴 Putting your phone down and closing your eyes
📆 Scheduling real rest, not “rewarding” yourself with food

True rest is not earned, it’s essential.

5. How to Speak to Myself with Kindness

I used to believe that being hard on myself was the only way to stay in line.
But all it did was push me deeper into shame, and deeper into the cycle.

When I messed up, I’d tell myself:
“You’ll never get it right.”
“You always screw this up.”

And then I’d eat to quiet the voice.

Here’s what I learned:
Compassion is not weakness. It’s the key to change.

What helps:
🧡 Saying “It makes sense” instead of “What’s wrong with me?”
📝 Writing down kind responses to your inner critic
💬 Practicing: “I’m learning. I’m not failing.”

If You’ve Never Learned These Skills, It’s Not Your Fault.

You don’t need more willpower. You need more tools.

You need care. Safety. Support. Nourishment.
And that is what helps you stop overeating, not rules or restrictions.

Every time you pause and respond to yourself with curiosity instead of criticism, you’re rewiring the pattern.

You’re Not Broken. You’re Becoming.

If no one ever taught you how to self-soothe, how to rest, how to feed yourself consistently, or how to speak kindly to yourself…
Then OF COURSE food became your survival strategy.

But you can learn a new way.
And the more you do, the less food has to be your only comfort.

💛 Want to finally feel free around food?

I help women rebuild a peaceful, guilt-free relationship with eating—without restriction, shame, or overwhelm.

Follow me 👉 @silke.holguin_health.coach for simple, sustainable tips that actually work.

Your Health Coach & Food Freedom Coach, Silke 💖

P.S. Don’t forget to share this with a friend who might find this helpful! 💌

If you enjoyed this article, you will love my 5 Small Changes to Stop Overeating - for women who are tired of overeating, bingeing and finally want peace with food:

Book your FREE 30-minute Clarity Call to uncover what’s driving your binge or overeating, and discover small steps you can take to overcome it.